34 Week Appointment: Why I Waddle

Dear LittleDude,

We had a doctor appointment today, and it went pretty well. I'm holding steady in the weight department since I'm still only about 10 pounds heavier than I was before you started growing in there. On one hand, I think that's great because it means I'll be back to my pre-pregnancy weight practically as soon as you're born. On the other hand, it sort of means I was a chubby in the first place. So, really, maybe I should stop advertising my minimal weight gain and let people look at me and assume I've gained 30 pounds instead of 10!

My blood sugar numbers are great, and the doctor is impressed we've been able to keep things under control without insulin. We are now allowed to treat ourselves occasionally, and I only have to prick my finger every other day. I'll probably still do it every day, though. It's not that bad, and I'd rather keep a close eye on things to make sure you're okay.

On the flip side, the doctor is a little concerned about my blood pressure. Don't ask me to explain what each number means because I can never remember, but while the top number is holding pretty steady (though borderline high), the bottom number is creeping up and is just too high. Because of that, I expected the doctor to confine us to bed for awhile, but she didn't. She didn't prescribe any medication either. I'm just under strict orders to "take it easy," keep my stress level low, and pee in a cup for 24 hours sometime next week so they can make sure pre-eclampsia hasn't set in.

In other news, it seems that you're growing a little bit faster in there. For the first time, my belly measured a little bigger than expected. Don't worry. We're only measuring at 35 weeks, and it's the first time we've been ahead of the curve. Nothing to worry about. Except that I've been hearing horror stories of giganto-babies resulting from gestational diabetes. So, I told the doctor I was anxious, and she decided to check you out.

The doctor didn't want to risk an internal exam, but she did feel around my belly to see what position you're in and such. She could tell that your back is currently toward my right side (which is so weird because I would have sworn you were hanging out on the left again), but she couldn't feel your head. So she got out the ultrasound machine to give me an extra peek at you. She looked...and looked...and found your knees, feet, hands, and everything...everything but a head, that is. At that point, in answer to my questions about how I'll know when you drop (and I should pack my hospital bag) and get into position to make your entrance into this world, she exclaimed, "If he drops, he'll drop right out!" As it turns out, the reason I feel like I have bowling ball in between my legs is because that's where your head is. In fact, your head is so low that the doctor couldn't get a good picture of it, and she's surprised I'm still able to walk. In other words, you're already in position to come out any time you like, but all the other signs indicate that you'll probably just hang out right there -- making it difficult for Mommy to walk or do anything but visit the bathroom more times than I ever thought possible in a day -- until your due date or beyond.

So the verdict is in. Almost everything looks good. I'm not showing any signs of pre-eclampsia aside from the slightly elevated blood pressure, and while you're hanging in there and getting ready to meet us, there's no indication of pre-term labor, so there's no reason we can't go to Illinois this weekend for our baby shower. Your only orders are to hang out for another six weeks. My only orders are to relax, keep my stress levels low, have fun at the shower, give myself a 2-day reprieve from monitoring my blood-sugar (the doctor says she does NOT want to see numbers for the weekend because she wants us to enjoy ourselves, and 2 days off won't hurt us), do the urine test next week, and come right in to get checked if there's any signs of you trying to make an appearance before our 36-week appointment.

I love you.
Love, Mommy

Time for Finishing Touches

Dear LittleDude,

Your room is almost complete. I just have one more project to finish now that Daddy and I have decided on your name. (Believe me, that was the hard part. Your daddy has generally horrible taste in names. Don't ask him to name any future pets.) In fact, I think I'll send Daddy to the grocery store, so I can get started on it. Painting sounds like a lot more fun than grocery shopping.

I love you.
Love, Mommy

Size Normal on the Right. Size Pregnant on the Left.

Dear LittleDude,

Right now, I'm laying on the couch, avoiding today's to-do list (as usual), and you are wiggling around inside my belly. The funny thing is, you're hanging out almost completely on the left side of my belly, so if someone looked at me from just the right angle, I might not even look pregnant.

I love you.
Love, Mommy

Braxton-Hicks?

Dear LittleDude,

I'm not sure what you're doing in there, or if you're doing anything at all, but I hope these Braxton-Hicks things stop pretty soon. It's not painful, but it IS uncomfortable, and it makes me worry. You aren't due to meet me and Daddy for another ten weeks. Isn't it just a bit early to be practicing? Kick back (okay, maybe don't kick so much; I'm a little sore), relax, take a nap, and enjoy your lack of view. Okay?

I love you.
Love, Mommy

Just In Case

Dear LittleDude,

Yesterday, I went to drink the even ickier glucose "soda" so the doctors can determine whether or not our pineapple and ice cream cravings are going to get curbed.

I haven't heard anything from them yet, but something tells me we should go ahead and eat a big bowl of pineapple and then go to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone... just in case.

I love you.
Love, Mommy

I Sing

Dear LittleDude,

Today, I finally stopped. I think I've been running around for months, always looking at the next thing. First, it was getting to the start of the semester in school. Then it was midterms. Then Daddy coming home. Then finals. Then leave. Then being sick and in the hospital. (Well, I wasn't looking forward to that, exactly, but it happened, and we're okay.) Then the holidays in Minnesota. And since then, I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off just trying to get everything ready for your arrival (which isn't done...but, hey, I'm only human, and you might as well learn that now).

But today, just a few minutes ago, I finally stopped. Just for a minute. And I fell in love more than I ever thought possible, one more time. No TV, no music, no barking dog going nuts about the noisy maintenance people who are doing invisible work in the hallway. Just me on the couch with you kicking inside my belly. And I sang. And I think you liked it and drifted off to sleep. I am so in love, it's ridiculous.

Love, Mommy

Hanging In There

Dear LittleDude,


I'm a little freaked out. I found out that I failed my 1-hour glucose test and will have to take a 3-hour glucose test to be screened for gestational diabetes. What this means for you is that you could be having some little problems in there. What it means for Mommy is that I might have a little more trouble keeping you strong and healthy and not huge until you can come out and meet us. 


I keep having mini-nightmares (well, daymares since I haven't been sleeping too well at night) about things going wrong. I'm still afraid we could lose you. And beyond that, I'm afraid of failing epidurals, you being too big, you coming too early, baby weight that won't come off, stretch marks, the parts of delivery and recovery no one tells you about until you're already pregnant, finding a decent outfit in size whale for the baby shower Gammoo and Teresa are throwing for us, etc. And on top if it all, I have a sudden urge to scavenge through the kitchen like a starved raccoon every twenty minutes. 


I just can't wait until I can see your little face and hold you in my arms.


Love, Mommy

Monkey Kicks

Dear LittleDude,


Today, for the first time, you decided to kick back if I poked my belly while you were already kicking. I love this game. You'll kick and then stop. Then I'll poke. Then you'll kick in a slightly different spot. Then I'll poke. It can go on and on for quite awhile, and I love every kick you make because it took so long for me to be able to feel you moving around in there! 


You even play your little game with Lucky. In fact, I think she's your favorite playmate. This morning, she was curled up on my belly, purring to you as usual when you decided to kick her. Of course, she just stared down at my belly as if to say, "What'd you do THAT for?" but then she settled back down and started kneading right where you'd kicked. Of course, you kicked her again. And of course, she stopped, gave you "the look," and started kneading again. You two probably played that game for a good half an hour. Silly cat. Silly LittleDude. (I wonder what would happen if I started playing "Hamster Dance" while the cat was sitting on my belly. Maybe we'll try that when Daddy gets home.)

Heartbeat!

Dear Monkey,

We had our first appointment with our OB today! All of the lab work from our last appointment came back normal, and in addition to some further tests (Mommy's thyroid levels have to be monitored very closely to keep you okay in there), we had our first ultrasound! You are measuring right on target at 6 weeks and 6 days, and even though it's too early hear it, I was able to see your tiny heart beating on the screen! I'm crying just thinking about it. After all the worrying that my wavering symptoms meant you weren't strong and healthy, that little heartbeat was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I love you.
Love, Mommy

Ugh...

Dear Monkey,

Morning sickness? More like "24/7 sickness" or, more accurately, "whenever it feels like it" sickness. I couldn't even e-mail your daddy last night. Oh, I tried. But even opening my eyes made me feel like I was going to vomit, so I just went to sleep. I figured I'd wake up in a couple of hours and e-mail him since sleep usually makes us feel better. But oh no... every time I woke up (which was three times, I think, mostly for the dog to go potty), I ended up throwing up. Obviously, we've had a big-time hormone surge or whatever we ate yesterday did not agree with us!

I love you.
Love, Mommy

I'm Sick!

Dear Monkey,

I'm sick! I'm sick! I'm sick!

For all my worrying about my morning sickness disappearing, it seems to be back with a vengeance. I guess I should be careful what I wish for!

In the middle of class today, I started feeling sick. I made it out of the classroom, but I didn't make it across the hall to the bathroom. Oops. Maybe I should lay off the cranberry juice in the mornings.

I love you.
Love, Mommy

First (Sort of) Doctor Appointment

Dear Monkey,

We had our first doctor appointment today. Honestly, I'm not sure it really qualifies as a doctor appointment. After all, I didn't see our doctor, and I mostly just answered questions. I guess that's why it's called orientation.

Anyway, they took my medical history and such, weighed me (I am not friends with their scale), took my vitals, and sent me off for lab work. My vitals were good, and the lady I was seeing today seemed really interested in listening to my fears and concerns. That was reassuring. Apparently, we're now 6 weeks and 2 days into pregnancy, so we're almost past the first point of concern for me. (You had two siblings who went to Heaven before I got to hold them in my arms. One of them went to Heaven at 6 weeks and 5 days, so I have been holding my breathe -- not literally, of course -- until we pass that milestone.)

The nurse also scheduled another appointment for us. I'm not sure what we'll be doing then. She told me, but I was too nervous about remembering the date and such to let it sink in. I do remember her telling me that we usually wouldn't see our doctor until we reached 10 weeks, but that we're starting earlier because we need closer monitoring. We are so lucky to have the care we're getting. The nurse actually called the clinic chief and sent him/her all of our information to see if we needed to be seen even earlier than she was able to schedule, but since we seem to be doing well -- and yes, apparently, a lot of people really do experience a mysterious disappearance of morning sickness -- the chief said what was scheduled would be fine.

So, off to the lab we went. They took five vials of blood. I'm used to having blood drawn, but that seemed ridiculous. The lab tech said they were testing for "everything plus some." In other words, we're not taking any chances. Everyone wants to make sure you stay happy and healthy in there until it's time to come out.  Anyway, it made my arm throb and made me feel light-headed, but if it keeps you healthy, they can do it every week as far as I'm concerned. It's just blood. I'll make more.

But of course, the day wasn't without its funny moment. I decided to pick up our vitamins and such at the pharmacy before going to the lab because I'd parked closer to the lab. Of course, the pharmacy was busy, and I had to wait so long that I absolutely had to go pee near the end of my wait. Of course, a few minutes later, I walked into the lab and was handed a cup for a urine sample. I just thought, "You have got to be kidding me," because I thought there was no way I was going to be able to do it. But of course, in the minute it took me to walk to the bathroom, that all changed. You definitely do funny things to my body, Monkey!

I love you.
Love, Mommy

Are You Okay in There?

Dear Monkey,

Today, I should have been studying, but I decided to meet your grandma (my mommy) for some shopping instead. I ended up buying a monkey mobile for you (it's the first thing I've bought for you) and two pairs of maternity jeans. I couldn't pass up the jeans because they were on sale, and you're already making things a little snug in my regular jeans. I couldn't pass up the mobile because it was cute.

The day wasn't all rainbows, though. I've been worried because I suddenly don't feel nauseated. I'm afraid you aren't okay in there. Your grandma says I'm just adjusting well to carrying you around and laughed, "I've never heard of anyone being upset that they aren't puking!" She has a point, but I'm still scared. I can't bear to lose you.

I love you.
Love, Mommy

Surprise!

Dear Monkey,

Well, this is a surprise!

After a few weeks of feeling not quite right and complaining far too often about feeling nauseated, your grandma and one of my friends, Phyllis, both asked -- on the same day, in separate conversations -- if I might be pregnant. At first, I scoffed, but then I realized your daddy had just been home for 18 days of mid-tour leave, and a light bulb went off.

The only thing I hate is that your daddy is overseas again, so I had to tell him about you over instant messenger. I always thought I would be able to tell him about you, our first child, in some cute and creative way. But, life is like that much of the time. As the saying goes, it's what happens when you're making plans.

I love you.
Love, Mommy