On Charity

Dear LittleDude,

The other day, while you were at school, I was out running errands when a man knocked on my car window, told me a story about why he needed money, and asked if I had any to spare. There was a time when -- even though I was chowing down on my McDonald's drive-through breakfast with a few dollars clearly visible in the car's cup holder -- I might have claimed I had nothing to spare. But that was before an acquaintance said something in passing that really hit home, and that thing made me reconsider.

As you grow up, you'll encounter a lot of people who aren't as fortunate as you are. Sometimes, it'll be obvious, as with the homeless man on the street corner. Other times, it'll be less obvious, as with a friend you don't realize is going hungry at home in order to keep up some appearance of normalcy outside the home. And unfortunately, there will be many times in which appearances are deceiving. Too often, people let the fear of directing charity toward those who don't truly need it -- those who are working the system in some way to take advantage of others' generosity -- as an excuse not to help. I understand that. I've been one of those people, someone who found it easier to convince myself that the person on the street corner was a scammer or an addict than to face the other options that ranged from the possibility of my own selfishness to ignorance to guilt for being unable to help, all at various times. But the truth is that if someone is asking for assistance but not does not truly need it, that is on their conscience. For that, they will one day be judged. What is on your conscience is how you respond. You can do nothing wrong by being trusting and kindhearted enough to give them the benefit of the doubt and help in whatever way you can. For that, you will one day be judged.

And that is why I gave the man in the parking lot the $3 in cash I had -- because I want you to grow up knowing that helping is the right thing to do, even if the person asking for help might not really need it.

I love you.
Love, Mommy